all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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