Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize