Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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