I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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