Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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