Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
