Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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