i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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