so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize