We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there