Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance

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(262): Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance http://tfl.nu/br4q

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light

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(704): Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light http://tfl.nu/mxes

Replies (8) Good night (1619) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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(254): View more from Texas

Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.

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(254): Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social. http://tfl.nu/292p

Replies (5) Good night (1912) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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(919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw

Replies (53) Good night (5691) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

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(609): So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/c5bq

Replies (36) Good night (9648) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?

(509): View more from Washington

You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.

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(303): Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it? (509): You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge. http://tfl.nu/hjyd

Replies (7) Good night (3742) Bad night (590)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

(732): View more from New Jersey

Career choice validated

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(732): Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!" (732): Career choice validated http://tfl.nu/g765

Replies (51) Good night (9285) Bad night (858)
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(917): View more from New York City

when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

(917): View more from New York City

Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

(347): View more from New York

he is a god among men.

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(917): when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment. (917): Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles. (347): he is a god among men. http://tfl.nu/gmep

Replies (51) Good night (7520) Bad night (731)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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(307): I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left. http://tfl.nu/b2xd

Replies (2) Good night (884) Bad night (322)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party

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(250): your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party http://tfl.nu/pnv8

Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (258) Order T-Shirt
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(561): View more from Florida

jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.

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(561): jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect. http://tfl.nu/vkgr

Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (212)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.

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(919): You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again. http://tfl.nu/rhb2

Replies (8) Good night (1522) Bad night (230)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.

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(307): He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style. http://tfl.nu/qafz

Replies (6) Good night (964) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

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(845): I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/cl86

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life

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(+64): the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life http://tfl.nu/95hw

Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (88) Order T-Shirt

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