Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.