I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.