im about as happy as oj after his trial
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize