no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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