you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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