he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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