Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
