At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
