why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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