Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
