There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
