Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
