And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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