i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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