Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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