This is not my ceiling
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
pop tarts are not kleenex
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize