i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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