well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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