I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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