I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
