Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?