How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I intend to get homeless drunk
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
