I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize