so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
