VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
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