Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?