My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
