just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.