You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
how drunk are you?
Several
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize