Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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