So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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