Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think my vagina is haunted
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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