wanna go halves on a baby?
this just has baby written all over it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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