My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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