Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
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Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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