it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
