I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
