I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.