I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
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she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?