I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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