I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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