i don't like sucking hair
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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