I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
fuck your aforementioned shoe
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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